toontown | Call Me Out Post, 2023

Dating Riz-- No, dating The Ball, he would always be The Ball; if anything it was more special now --it wasn't something Fabian would've bet on at the start. But now, here they were, and it was very good. It felt nice, knowing keen-eyed The Ball tended to see through his posturing like a flimsy alibi, and cared all the same. It felt nice to hold his hand during the movie, so small, all the while knowing that that hand could wield a gun even more impressively than Fantasy James Bond was doing on screen. It felt nice to see The Ball in his jacket, a reminder of how Fabian could protect him in his own ways; be there for him. Exciting stuff.

It was a good date. A great date. But now, as it drew to a close, Fabian found his mind a bit preoccupied. It was a good thing the Hangman had sentience, really. Fabian had told The Ball he didn't care if they kissed or anything else, he just wanted the relationship, and he meant that. He stood by it. His concern now was just this nagging worry that The Ball was going to feel pressured to kiss him goodnight. And it wasn't like that wouldn't be welcome! And would it count if Fabian just kissed his cheek? He didn't know how to find out without increasing any potential pressure...!

Oh shit they were almost at Strongtower. Okay, he needed to pay some attention, because clearly the Hangman would be fine dropping The Ball off elsewhere-- Frankly, Fabian didn't want to know what his motorcycle'd had in mind! He just slowed down, and eventually, pulled up to the building.

You'd think going to hell together during Spring Break would've created some sort of bond, but no, The Hangman still did not see eye to... headlamp? with Riz. It wasn't as openly combative as it had been at the beginning, but Riz was beginning to believe The Hangman would never stop being surly around him.

Riz felt it as Fabian cut the power to the engine, sitting up a little straighter. He wasn't sure if he should hop off yet. He didn't want to give Fabian the impression he was in a hurry to end this date, because... he wasn't really. It was fun hanging out. It was always fun hanging out with Fabian. But he was also feeling nervous because he knew what normally happened at this part of the date. Gods know Kristen and Fig had dominated the conversation during more than their fair share of lunch breaks, talking about the dates they had gone on with their respective girlfriends.

"Thanks, uh. For the jacket." Riz raised a hand, the sleeve already starting to creep over his knuckles again. "It was warm."

When The Ball thanked him for the jacket, Fabian was hit but the wild impulse to insist he keep it, because that's just the kind of over-the-top he was, but he managed to quash that down if only because he liked having that jacket a whole lot. It was important to him, but damnit, he'd have to make a habit of offering it to his boyfriend.

...Thinking of The Ball in those terms was quite pleasant. Anyway.

"Oh, don't mention it. You look good in it, you know." He smirked and added, "Almost as good as I do," as he got off the Hangman. Then, he offered his hand to The Ball to help him get down-- Sure, he'd got down on his own before. But come, now.

Riz snorted, shaking his head in response to both Fabian's every buoyant ego on display and the thought that he looked good in this. Sometimes Fabian really did just live in his own little reality. He allowed Fabian to help him off the bike, before spreading his arms, commanding the other boy's attention. "Fabian, this thing comes down to my knees and I don't even know where my hands are. I look ridiculous in it."

"That's what makes it endearing! Besides, the jacket already looks good, and you already look good!" he exclaimed, somehow both delighted and indignant at once. "All of that adds up to the jacket looking good on you!"

His smile warmed after that, as he titled his head with a nods towards the building. "I had a good time tonight, The Ball. Come on, I'll walk you up to your apartment...?"

Riz's cheeks went a dark blue at the compliment. He didn't considering himself particularly good looking --he didn't considering himself particularly bad looking either though; he simply was and that was enough-- and he wasn't really used to compliments either. At least, not ones related to his appearance.

Riz was so caught up feeling embarrassed, his mouth moved before his brain did. "Nah, I can find it myself."

And when he heard himself say that, it brought a whole new wave of embarrassment. Obviously Fabian knew he knew where he lived. It was one of those date things, a kind and gentlemanly gesture that Riz's stupid mouth had torpedoed like the bad guys had torpedoed the jet-ski Fantasy James Bond had been on in the movie.

(except, unlike Fantasy James Bond, Riz did actually kind of want to get killed in the resulting explosion)

"No. I mean. Obviously I know where I live, but--" With a groan, Riz buried his face against the sleeves covering his hands, letting out a muffled. "Sorry."

"Oh." He shouldn't feel foolish for offering just because The Ball said no. Probably said no. It was a little confusing, with the apology and all. It was what one did when seeing a date off, right? But then... Wasn't something he'd assured The Ball of when they started dating that they didn't have to keep up with or be like other couples?

There was something else, though, that bothered him. Did... Did The Ball not want them to walk up together because he thought that would mean they had to share a goodnight kiss? Yet again, he wondered, how did he ask without sounding expectant?

"It's not like I thought you'd get lost," Fabian began awkwardly and just a little defensively. "I just thought-- Well, I wanted to offer."

Oh, see, now he had made Fabian defensive.

Riz's tail lashed around his ankles as he rubbed the sleeves of Fabian's jacket over his face, trying to focus on the sensation of the wool against his cheeks and push through the unhelpful instinct to just run and hide. However well that served him during their battles, it would do him no good with his... with his... with Fabian.

"Sorry," he mumbled. Then again, a little louder. "Sorry, I know you didn't--" A deep breath. "I'm Struggling."

Something something communicating feelings. Jawbone always hammered on that. Though Jawbone probably would've suggested being a little more communicative than just dropping a slightly alarming statement with no further elaboration.

The Ball was so reluctant to voice things like that - things about feelings - that hearing him say he was Struggling felt as if it hit Fabian like a punch to the gut. He felt awful, and still on some level, his instinctive reaction to feeling like he'd messed up was to double-down on defensiveness. That was a lot harder to quash down than the desire to impulsively give The Ball his jacket, but damnit, he was trying.

Even if at first, that just meant being quite for a few seconds so he didn't say something he'd regret. Fabian closed his eyes and inhaled slowly, then sighed out, "Sorry. I didn't want-- What's wrong?"

Riz really was trying to be better about the communicating thing. He knew he made people worry when he didn't, but it was difficult to undo years of habit and instinct. And even when he got through that part, it was difficult to vocalise thoughts that seemed to ricochet around his skull and collide off one another far too rapidly.

"I-- I liked earlier because I kinda knew what was expected of me." Even if it was probably very silly to think of things like 'get to movie theatre', 'watch movie' and 'attempt to steal all of Fabian's popcorn' as tasks, it had helped Riz put his first ever date in the sort of goal-orientated structure that helped him navigate social encounters. And once he had had that structure, he had actually been able to relax enough to enjoy the date and stop over-thinking things so much.

For this part though, he didn't really know what the goal was. He knew what most people generally did here, but was that what they were supposed to do? The uncertainty was bringing back all the nerves.

"I don't... really know what I'm supposed to do now and I'm freaking out."

Fabian nodded as The Ball talked about knowing expectations, because while he didn't exactly understand-understand, it kind of made sense, in that it was with keeping in how The Ball was in general. But not getting it enough to be able to fully empathize left Fabian frustrated; disappointed in himself.

But then The Ball finished by saying he was freaking out, and Fabian just-- He wanted, really wanted, to shelf his own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy and help. So he did his best to do just that. He held out a hand as an offering, kind of like one might do with a new and particularly skittish pet.

"What- What do you want to do now? Do you know...?"

"I... don't."

Riz blew out a frustrated sigh, but he did allow Fabian to wrap his hand around his. They had done that earlier, after all, and it had been nice. Riz didn't always like a ton of physical contact with other people --sometimes he did, but sometimes it made him want to crawl out of his skin-- but Fabian's much larger, warmer hand around his own was just the right amount of touch and pressure to ground him, a nice reminder that Fabian was here with him without being too much.

"I know what's... supposed to happen."

"It doesn't have to," Fabian said, sincere, but to even his own ear it sounded like maybe a bit too quick. Like he'd had it too ready to go.

"But you want it," Riz countered, not even in an accusatory tone, but rather trying to state the facts as he knew them. Fabian wanted to get his kisses in and Riz... Riz didn't know.

Maybe that was part of the problem. Maybe if it was like before where nothing sounded grosser than kissing, it would be easy to make that clear. But then his brain had started to shift slightly, whispering to him that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to kiss Fabian, and that made things uncertain again.

Fabian gave a shrug. He couldn't deny that, and he never had bothered trying to. He wasn't going to start now, that would a pretty manipulative dick move.

"I mean, sure. You know I like the... General concept. But I wouldn't enjoy it if it sucked for you."

The honesty was appreciated. Riz would've been able to see through the lie anyway, and the idea that dating him would put Fabian in a position where he felt like he had to lie about what he wanted didn't... that just didn't make him feel great about dating Fabian. Even if he didn't mind right now, that sort of thing would eventually lead to resentment, right?

"I don't-- I used to think all kissing was gross, but..." Riz rubbed at one cheek with his free hand, very carefully not looking at Fabian. "Now I sometimes think... I dunno."

Fabian's smile was small and warm, but there was a playful smugness in his tone as he spoke.

"Well, I am known to be more charming than I am gross," he teased, shaking his head. "Do you want to try? You could just kiss me on the cheek or the other way 'round, if that's less intimidating... Which, again, I'm known to be," he chuckled, "so who could blame you?"

A beat, and then all his bravado faded as he added, "And I'm not just offering that to maybe get a kiss in, okay? I meant what I said. If you don't like it, it wouldn't be any good for me either, so..."

Edited 2023-09-03 00:06 (UTC)

Riz huffed a little in response to Fabian's teasing, jabbing him in the hip with his elbow. Fortunately for Fabian, the normal sharpness of Riz's boney elbow was cushioned by the jacket he was still swimming in.

"You're more of a dork than you are charming." Which was not entirely true. Fabian was pretty charming -- or he could be, at least. He was also, however, pretty dorky, even if he usually covered it pretty well with boastful bravado.

Riz's thinking though, even as he bantered with Fabian. He could try, couldn't he? If he had to try it with anyone, he wanted it to be Fabian. He still had concerned though, not necessarily about the act of trying itself --one way or another, it would be over quick, wouldn't it?-- but about the potential fallout. What if it was gross? Would Fabian feel hurt if Riz said kissing him was gross? It was one thing to know that Riz felt kissing in general was gross and a whole other thing to be confront it pretty directly with the knowledge that the guy who you are trying to date thinks it gross to kiss you. And Fabian... sometimes he could be so sensitive about things. "What if... what if we try it and I do think it's gross?"

"You are a absolute liar," Fabian argued with a snort and a smirk, "and what you just is slanderous. Any dorkiness I do have comes from the company I keep, thank you very much."

He squatted down to be closer to The Ball's level. "If you do think it's gross, then we know that now and nothing's changed from where we started, right?"

It didn't occur to him that The Ball was concerned more with his ego, really. For all that a good bit of his ego was putting on airs and a show, Fabian knew he was handsome, and The Ball not wanting to kiss him seemed more like The Ball really hating kissing than thinking Fabian himself was revolting or something.

With Fabian squatting down, Riz had the rare experience of being able to look Fabian directly in the eye without having to crane his neck. It also helped solve one possible other obstacle on the road to kissing.

"Yeah. Okay." Maybe that was true. And maybe figuring out this sort of stuff earlier on would help. After all, right now they only had one date under the belts (one-and-a-half if you counted the occasion of Fabian confessing to him, which Riz wasn't sure if he should). If this was going to be a big obstacle, maybe it was better if they found out quickly, so they could just go back to being best friends with minimal levels of awkwardness.

"Okay. I'll do it."

And then, to prevent himself from succumbing to nerves, he dove in, wrapping his hands around the straps of Fabian's tee, smashing their faces --mostly their noses, honestly-- together.

Fabian had been all ready to tease The Ball for his own lack of charm - I'll do it, really? Not exactly words of woo, and Fabian didn't mind but it was still funny - but then their noses bonked together and Fabian made a surprised sound against The Ball's mouth.

It was disorienting, how quickly it happened, and yet... Not exactly surprising for The Ball to jump on the case. Because really, that's kind of what this was, huh? They were solving a mystery together, the case of "does The Ball want to kiss if he's kissing Fabian?"

Okay, fine. Maybe he was a little dorky.

Still, in a way, it's also solving a mystery of how does their chemistry play out for a kiss. If this is something that becomes part of their relationship, well, Fabian meant what he said: It would suck if it sucked for The Ball. Of course, it would also suck if it sucked for Fabian himself.

But as Fabian pursed his lips briefly against The Ball's, he didn't think this rushed kiss sucked. It was clumsy and fumbling, sure. And it was (technically) new, not that he was rushing to admit that even under a threat to his life, which made it a little awkward. Maybe not exactly what he'd always built up in his mind. But still, he liked it, however short it was, however uncoordinated it was.

The kiss was over as quickly as Riz had initiated it; just a few moment of their noses smashing together and their lips brushing briefly and then it was over again.

It had been... It had hurt. But Riz was pretty sure that was the part where he had mashed his nose against Fabian, which was not supposed to be a part of every kiss. But beyond the hurt it has been--

"Wow, that was a lot less awful than I thought it would be."

What a shining review.

Fabian sputtered for a moment at what The Ball said, taken by surprise by his phrasing, before laughing. What other response was there, really?

"I think that's a compliment in this case?"

Riz flushed, his ears pinning back as he smacked Fabian lightly on the shoulder. "I thought it was going to be... super gross and wet. But it was... It was fine."

Like, Riz absolutely didn't get what made people so obsessed with getting their kisses in, but kissing Fabian, at least, hadn't been the horrible experience he was expecting it to be.

(Of course, there was the question if that went for all kissing, or if it was just that kissing Fabian was different, but that was something that could be puzzled out at a later date.)

Fabian nodded with a bit of a lingering chuckle, as he nudged The Ball's arm.

"Well, that's good to hear. I liked it, too... Even if you almost broke my nose," he added, as he rubbed the end of it.

Call Me Out Post, 2023

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